start to a birthday post two years ago:

hahah, so i was looking through the old posts and drafts. this one dates back to my 20th birthday.

shah rukh khan gyrates his pelvis to the sounds of chamak challo, hrithik carves his family-man image on the sets of just dance, mother brings me my complan, and I turn 20.

left right left

the artist and the scientist.
the former sees what is desired, and the latter what is needed.

the artist creates from the unknown, and is thus rendered insane.
the scientist draws from the given, and therefore can not be argued.

the world without the scientist is plagued with havoc.
the world without the artist is void of hues.

precision, one would assume is the mutual virtue.
precision is just the tool, the virtue is vision.
for neither an artist nor a scientist can create without the light. the spark. the fire.

The snails had it coming. Those breathing holes were far too generous, by my call anyway..

i adorned stealth, and focus. and sashayed through the african grass. knees met with swift sharp blades. i had intended to finish what i had begun. i had a promise to keep. with deep set eyes, and my hands armed, and ready to charge. it was the time of the sun. i felt a sweat bead roll down the back of my neck. it wasn't the first. but there were many. my eyebrows squinted in the heat. there was no ulterior motive. things had never been this real. things had never really been at all. i felt the distant grass disappear. it blended in with the rays. not a sound to the left. not sight to the right. there would be questions later. and there would be answers i could not give. a gentle breeze blew past my side. my hair tight up in a ponytail. a messy one, it had become. but there was more to fix out there, than just my hair. the hair could wait. but this couldn't. i'd thought about this breeze before. it was different from what i knew. more... epic. the sharp african summer gave fire to my flesh. and there it was. i saw him. he saw me. he sat pensive on the edge. i waited. we'd been here before. but this was it. i knew it. the breeze giving him flair. and fueling the feel of it all. i drifted smoothly. and took him by the hands. i was there. and he was there. i had dreamt of it for so long. it felt unreal. but so right. i had won. and they would never understand.


in the summer of kindergarten, i was in senegal (west africa). in class we were raising fat green caterpillers. and every kid in class had a pet at home. i asked my parents to settle for a pet. they said no. the next day, i spent my afternoon class hunting for grasshoppers in the football field.

Chodd Do Anchal

me da cuenta que aun no me crees.
hay algun rincon
del calle
que nos llamaras
eras mas que nada
pero que poco de ayudan
el amor que existe
en el fondo
del almohado
amarillo
ayayayay.
te lo juro mi vida
regresare pronto
cuando puedo
:( :| :S :| :S :P :D XD
y porque ne me prometas?
que raticos tenemos?
no hay dolor, hijo
y y y, dime como
fueron los examines
el tersero lo que harias
pero no
tengo calma
sin futuro
pero siento mejor
hasta





-osea... basta.

Bijli Giraade, Meri Raani

i need less of your spine this time,
bit more of your past life
don't fake balls to me today
it won't fetch applause
your smirk suits your lips
matching your cautious sips
divine, is what they'd say
don't you
your jump for the conclusion
deep triumph hangs with the abysmal
i tip you into toeing
you brag of steady balance
snails get the full ride
they're smart and easy to kill
my goals were fine, sir
till you came along
fuddu saala.

Dearest Antoni, It's Not You-- It's Me

it was that age when fire hits
not a day over sixteen
i held you in my arms that day
not knowing what it'd mean
it was casual, it was perfect
and you didn't seem to mind
you gave me rose tinted shades
and rendered me so blind

i really did love you,
i still do, and always will.

i was too young to fully see you
but too old to not at all
there was no reason not too
and no break before the fall
i knew you'd never leave
so i ignored the time
you knew i'd come back
ignoring reason&rhyme


i clung to all i thought would drift
and i never thought of you
you gave me time, i gave you space
but all of it fell through
i want to come back, i know it well
but i need you to know it too
i don't think i love you anymore
but i need to feel it too
i tried to sort things out at times
but sadly fail to clarify

i said that i'd come visit
i still will, or at least try.

you were never distant.
you were far, but never so.
i thought you'd always stay
so it wouldn't hurt to go
time and distance, we predicted
but what came forth we never saw
and it's been strange, ever since
because i still can't seem to draw
i barely you knew you then
i barely know you now
but i don't love you anymore
which makes it more than just a vow

i said i'd come to visit
and i meant it; i still do.

i think about the family
the one i said i'd visit
your street, pets, and scenes
the romance made it fit
i don't know how you're doing
i don't know if you're the same
you were never all there was
and i was never the only one
pero antes de ir por el almohado
tengo que pedirte el perdon

no necesitas salvacion, yo se
aunque podria yo, tal vez

god knows what's been done to you
god knows what's been to me
i know you know i'll do as i say
and the knowledge sets me free
what i knew back then was nothing
what i know now does not suffice
i may forget you until then
but i will have loved you twice.

de verdad,
la chica que prometio

A Streetcar Named Desire

I got my activa today! :D It's shiny. &black. &I'm naming it Stella.